I hit the restart button.

To all those wondering if college brings actual free time, the answer is yes.

After quite some time away from this blog, I decided to begin again. My ability to write usually correlates with the amount of spare energy I am capable of using. During senior year, between college applications and attempting to get enough sleep, little brain space remained available for my love of bringing thoughts to life. By the time my classmates and I put on our college t-shirts, I had let my mind fall completely away to experience. No words can describe sitting in your last high school class, a heavily annotated East of Eden put in the backpack one more time or taking your last derivative. There are simply no phrases available for the emotions that bubble up as you sit in the car after the last track practice, realizing that the activity you’ve done for six years just ended. And don’t get me started on hugging the teachers who shaped the very student - and person - you have become.

So much. All at once. It takes a whole summer to recover. And I did.

I danced on the beach as the sun came up over the city of Cabo. I ate fries at midnight with my best friends. I listened to Blues Music in Mississippi, walked among mountains in Idaho, and watched fireworks in Waterloo. I sat with friends under a Gazebo and made stupid but necessary mistakes. I sold tons of smoothies and played games in Florida. I ordered chai lattes and egg omelettes and gluten free desserts. I walked around Memphis, steps ridden with nostalgia as if my feet knew the changes about to transpire.

One by one, my friends went off, and I remained. I spent a month resting, something I realized my body does not readily enjoy. I learned what it meant to grow alone, along with the help of books, numerous podcasts, and the occasional forced quiet. I spent time with family, savoring mom’s homemade dinners, my own bathroom, and endless hugs. I journaled constantly. I reflected religiously. I grew restless. And finally, I packed my bags.

And now I sit on my purple chair inside a college dorm room over 2000 miles away from home.

And I restart.

Not just this blog, but what my time will look like, who my companions will be, and the energy I wish to put back out into the world. I am beyond excited to begin again in Oregon and hope you join me along the way.

Much love,

Chloé